Just-Death-n-Death

Justin

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Empty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Empty

To wake up in the night feeling empty inside. Watch the dark ceiling as the feeling grows. Everything starts to feel fake, like I'm still dreaming. I bite my tongue, but there is no pain. I wonder what it'll take to feel the sting of pain again as a feeling of loneliness seeps in. The loneliness grows and starts to become overwhelming. I feel like I want to cry but the tears won't come. I watch the ceiling fan's blades and feel the cool air over my warm body. I wonder if I am actually awake. If what I feel is real. Why do I feel warmth and cold, but no pain? Will I wake up and quickly forget these feelings? No, I won't and I know it, but the

Precious by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Precious

When death is close and looks you in the eyes. When fear and sadness are all you feel. Tormented under the possibilities to come. It feels like the end as you try to hope for the best. The anxiety increases as time grows ever closer. As the clock ticks, the feelings and thoughts take their toll. Weariness encroaches and consciousness feels like it may slip away. But it feels impossible to sleep, and you fear what may happen upon awakening. Would it be over? Will it be ok? Or will the clock of inevitability still be cruelly ticking away? When you know the time will come sooner than later what do you do? Do you try to endure it with a smile on

Identity by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Identity

I am myself. Nothing more. Nothing less. I am defined by my thoughts and actions. Yet you will only ever really know what my actions reveal. Who will I be to you? Am I your idiotic friend? Am I the one who helped you move forward in life? Am I the traitor who hurt you? Am I the one who put fear in your heart? Am I the one who you taught what you had to offer? Am I the one who taught you what I knew? Am I the one who told you that I love you? Am I the one that trembled with fear before you? Am I the one that gave selflessly? Am I the one who acted greedily? Am I the one who doesn't have a care in the world? Am I the one who worri

Long nights by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Long nights

Pain and anger. Self loathing for actions you can't explain. Scream your lungs out till your throat is dry and your voice is harsh. Fall into yourself as the world shrinks around you. Get lost in the darkness as apathy arises. Kill the pain with thoughts. Kill the thoughts with pain. Hide it all away as the sun rises. Put on your mask to keep out of the light. Bite your tongue to hold it all back and stay in control. Endure the piercing smiles all around you. Embrace yourself as you wash it all away. Remember who you are as the day ends. Return to being content with all you hold dear. But the demons always return. And the cycle will continue.

The Pain of Uncertainty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

The Pain of Uncertainty

Feelings of depression. Frustration. Anger. Anxiety. All of it fuels my pain. I move on from one and find myself stuck on another. Each time preceded by love. I find myself repeating it again and again. Is what I feel really true? What should I have done differently? I don't want to regret. I try not to regret. But what should I expect from falling again? How else do I find where I went wrong? But I still haven't found where I went wrong. To this day, all I have learned is that I repeat the same thing. I try to change each time. Each time the feelings get stronger. This time. I don't know what I will do. I'm so use to the feelings, but they s

Wounds by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Wounds

Here I am again. broken down, yet still moving. A sinking feeling within. Is it fear? Is it pain? Is it regret? Is it nostalgia? What about love?... It feels like them all and more. I look back and see blood. I never want to return. When I look ahead I see a broken spirit. I don't want to go there. But, right now, I feel torture. I hate sitting here... The pain has dulled from the past, but the wounds stay. With each passing event, the wounds open more. And it seems again, that they will spill out my pain as I fall... I grow from these wounds of hemophilia. Constantly reminding me of what not to do and who to be. But the wounds become so many

Internal Void by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Internal Void

I feel so empty. I wish I had someone to hold, to quell my fears and anguish. I hate feeling so alone. I probably should be able to get the support I need from friends, but I seem to drift away from the help that they provide. I'm losing hope. Each day is a chore. And every piece of advice, every piece of support, seems to end up reminding me that I have an influence on others. But I feel like a terrible influence. I make them worry. My family. My friends. My teachers. All of them have seen my lack of will. I'm not sure how long I can push myself through each day. I've lost all motivation to do anything for the future. Homework is left undone

Emotionally unstable by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Emotionally unstable

Anxiety. Panic. I don't know how to cope. Thoughts of self harm. Thoughts of violence. Sadness. Hate. Pain. It's hard to keep calm. Heart is racing. Head hurts. Difficult to breathe. I want to cry out. But I'm too afraid to even say I need help. Stuck in conflict. I just want to stop but can't bring myself to calm down. Want to sleep. Fuck this all. I just want to sleep my life away. I don't want to continue on. Maybe. One day. It will end. It could be some day soon. Or maybe far away. But I'd like for it to be sooner than later. I'm burning out. Just a flicker of light in the ashes. Why can't I just go out? Why can't I just go dark and not w

Intrusive Thoughts by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Other's happiness by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Empty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Empty

Precious by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Precious

Identity by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Identity

Long nights by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Long nights

The Pain of Uncertainty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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The Pain of Uncertainty

Wounds by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Wounds

Internal Void by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Internal Void

Emotionally unstable by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Literature

Emotionally unstable

Intrusive Thoughts by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Other's happiness by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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About Just-Death-n-Death

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 16 years
He / Him

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My Bio

I never know what to write for a bio, but here goes my attempt to explain myself.

I'm a young adult who doesn't feel like an adult. I have all sorts of issues that I use as inspiration for poetry. I'm a fan of drawn art (sadly I'm no good at it :/). I take a special interest in steampunk. Outside of the world of deviantart, I'm a gamer who loves to be absorbed into any world beside my own (anime/manga works too). I'm a night person, and If I could I'd sleep all day and game all night. I am possibly the laziest person I know, but I'm trying to change that everyday (with varying levels of success).

Hope this gives all out there any insight they might possibly want about me. If not, just read my poetry; it's basically my unfiltered thoughts and feelings.

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Just-Death-n-Death

Aug 25, 2015

I was going to write something, but I can't find the words and I'm feeling too apathetic to keep trying. This is pretty much the rough draft of what I wanted to write, but I don't think I'll ever actually be able to write this feeling. Oh well :/

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Just-Death-n-Death

Oct 19, 2014

Heh, been a while since I posted something. Not sure if I will continue, but it felt pretty nice to unload a bit. Also, I'm thinking of doing more philosophical posts. Wether they be philosophical questions or theories is up in the air. Maybe both? ;...

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Just-Death-n-Death

May 21, 2014

It seems I'm back to writing

0 min read

Tonight, I think I'll be making another entry, and it might lead to more. I guess we'll see how I hold up... it should be fun.

Just-Death-n-Death

Latest Deviations

Empty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Precious by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Identity by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Long nights by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

The Pain of Uncertainty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Wounds by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Internal Void by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Emotionally unstable by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Intrusive Thoughts by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Other's happiness by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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Empty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Precious by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Identity by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Long nights by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

The Pain of Uncertainty by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Wounds by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Internal Void by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Emotionally unstable by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Intrusive Thoughts by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

Other's happiness by Just-Death-n-Death, literature

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It seems I'm back to writing

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